Sunday, November 23, 2008

A Journey Story

This is so deeply embedded in my life, it consumes me. Over the years, it has become so entwined in my soul that my heart beats to the same rhythm. So when a change occured that resulted in something missing, something incredibly important to my own well being, I did not ... fare well.

I prayed and nothing changed. I cried and nothing changed. I pouted & stamped my foot. I yelled. I became childish and petulant. And then I gave up. Not in broken surrender, but in angry, defeated resignation. I tried to find ways to cope with the void.
But there was only one way and I wasn't willing to do it. Not even out of sheer obedience. And this was the result.
I was even disappointed in myself because I used to teach about this. I was a leader, an example. I knew better. But when the change occurred and I didn't like it, I couldn't do it anymore. Even though I had taught others that we do it for no other reason than because He's worthy. But I used to secretly wonder: if the day ever comes that I'm in a place void of the trappings of worship, will I really be able to worship Him...simply because He is worthy?
I got my answer.
It has been a long, difficult climb. I learned disappointing things about myself. I thought I was in better shape, spiritually. I wanted to quit - quit the game, quit the team, but at those moments, in His dear mercy, He gave me the grace for a few more steps. And a few more. And a few more. If you keep putting one foot in front of the other, at the top of the stairs, at the end of a very long and wearying climb, awaits something wondrous, something unexpected.

A gift. A gift to refresh you and help you continue the journey. A gift .... so that you will have something to give Him when you enter His courts.

  Now I realize something else about worship. I probably taught it at one time and didn't even understand it til now: nothing we do, say, sing, or create is worthy anyway; it's only by His magnificent grace in giving us a gift that we even have something to offer when we come before the King of Kings.


These pictures were taken in the Smoky Mts, TN. last month.

1 comment:

My World said...

Thanks, Connie. I appreciated your story and was encouraged by it. Your journey is one we all have or will take. I draw strength from your insight, and inspiration from your photos. You should consider posting photos to or Seriously!